So what is the worse part?
The worse part I think, is when I close my eyes and all I think about is ending it all. When all that can be seen seems like jaggered knives in my mind. When "sleep" isn't even a word. And "rest" a foreign term. Especially if it's been a bad day or a bad week. When nothing seems to go right and when all I think about is the worse of everything. From sun rise to sun down. The heaviness of the brain that suffocates the mind from being able to think let alone process everything that has gone through during the day. When everything seems too much. And all I feel like doing is giving up. Life then doesn't really feel like it's worth much.
So, this has been my thought pattern for the past x years (no idea how long). Though I remember the first thought being in childhood years.
So what has allowed me to break free from it? Pure love. Hence why the name of my blog is Beloved. For it is love that has set me free. Free from the bondage that controls my thoughts, feelings and fear. And where did I get this love from of which I constantly crave and never have enough of. Of which only one can fulfill.
I think my friends and family knows this answer. Or I do hope they do. Because as it has allowed me to 'Live' it will allow you to live as well. Not to live because life just needs to be lived. But to live in the fullest capacity that you know you can. The life that can never be taken away. Never be stolen from you ever again.
Finally, I can breathe. Finally, I can think. Finally, I can live. Finally, I can love. After x number of years.
Next post I think should be named 'Life'. Do you agree?
The worse part I think, is when I close my eyes and all I think about is ending it all. When all that can be seen seems like jaggered knives in my mind. When "sleep" isn't even a word. And "rest" a foreign term. Especially if it's been a bad day or a bad week. When nothing seems to go right and when all I think about is the worse of everything. From sun rise to sun down. The heaviness of the brain that suffocates the mind from being able to think let alone process everything that has gone through during the day. When everything seems too much. And all I feel like doing is giving up. Life then doesn't really feel like it's worth much.
So, this has been my thought pattern for the past x years (no idea how long). Though I remember the first thought being in childhood years.
So what has allowed me to break free from it? Pure love. Hence why the name of my blog is Beloved. For it is love that has set me free. Free from the bondage that controls my thoughts, feelings and fear. And where did I get this love from of which I constantly crave and never have enough of. Of which only one can fulfill.
I think my friends and family knows this answer. Or I do hope they do. Because as it has allowed me to 'Live' it will allow you to live as well. Not to live because life just needs to be lived. But to live in the fullest capacity that you know you can. The life that can never be taken away. Never be stolen from you ever again.
Finally, I can breathe. Finally, I can think. Finally, I can live. Finally, I can love. After x number of years.
Next post I think should be named 'Life'. Do you agree?
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